My shameless plug...AVON calling!

Yes, I'm THAT woman now! I still don't cake make-up on my face and smell like the fragrance counter at Macy's, but I do sell AVON. It's fun! It really is! We have silly little meeting where we play games and smell perfume and try on make up samples and exchange ideas. I've made some money doing it. Of course, just as any good business woman would, I put much of that money into marketing research, but it's all very beneficial to the future of my business. (My husband totally fell for that one last night!) I mean, I'm having an AVON party next weekend. I have to buy alcohol, right? That's a business write-off! I'm not making enough right now for that to matter, but eventually it will. Now I know how Donald Trump got away with it and made his millions! Minus the beauty products, obviously.

So, all you can do now is wish me luck and check out AVON.com and if you place an order put my phone number when it asks for it, and I'll get credit for it. It'll come right to you and you'll have to pay shipping, but it's that easy! And, no, my stalker friends, you're not getting my phone number. Nice try, though!

I'm always looking for helpers too! who will either earn cash or products, up to you!

Okay, I'm done! Geez, now I know how celebs feel when they're on Leno...no, not really!

Someone emailed this to me along with the picture at the top:
I'm an Avon Lady Take a look at me
Showin' off my Skin-So-Soft
For everyone to see
I'm more than a housewife
I'm a business woman too
And if you don't have a dream
How can you have a dream come true

Carpet Munching Cat

Don't be a pervert! What did YOU think the title meant? Ugh.

My kitten has this strange need to suck on things. Anything. Okay, get that mind out of the gutter and keep reading! My husband bought a carpet for the bathroom floor not too long after the kitten arrived. The reason? The kitten had a problem finding the litter box for a very long time. I tried to hide the "accidents" for a while, but if you've ever smelled kitten poop while the kitten is still on formula, then you know why hiding it wasn't easy. Anyhow, the carpet in the bathroom is so soft that the kitten decided that pooping on it was completely out of the question because he definately needed to snuggle with it. He suckles on it and kneads it as if he were actually getting milk out of it. It's kind of strange and, yet, cute at the same time. The vet says he'll probably do this forever and it is perfectly normal. My husband says it's perverted and loves to let people know that we have a carpet munching cat!

POOP 101 (sorry girls, but it has to be said!)

Wow! What a title, huh? Anywho...

1. If you are going to be there for a while a courtesy flush would be lovely
2. If you are at someone's house and they have spray, use it
3. If everyone is hanging out downstairs and there is a potty upstairs, go upstairs
4. If you use all the toilet paper either replace the roll or ask someone else to
5. If you get it on the seat (and I'm still not sure how you do) clean it off!
6. FLUSH!
7. Clogged the toilet? Try not to, but if you do, do something about it or get someone...IT HAPPENS!!!!
8. Wash your hands (that's in PEE 101 too!)
9. Still see parts of it in the toilet? Flush again! No one wants to see that!

I'm sorry, but this was the only tactful way I knew to tell some of you how to use the potty properly. Some of this stuff should be common sense...ask any woman!

Tragedy

Someone commented about my long day and bugs post last week. WHATEVER! Is other people's tragedy supposed to absorb my life? Am I supposed to stop being me because there are people suffering and dying and horrible things are happening? I'm a very positive and happy person by nature. I cry every so often when I watch the effects of Katrina on the news. Do you come to my blog to read about that? If you do, then you've come to the wrong place. Most people that email me about my blog say they like to read my blog because it makes them laugh...it takes them away from everyday crap. I enjoy being happy and talking about me and my life and silly things. That doesn't mean I don't pray for the people who have suffered and are suffering here and everywhere. That also doesn't mean I don't cry or have a heart. I do know that tragedy happens and life goes on. It must. If we sit and only think about the horrible things that are happening we will never be happy...what is there to live for if we are never happy?

I'm hungry...I think I'll go make some Ramen noodles!