Welcome to 2006!

My husband finally has the internet at work. It's about time! (Hey, Bri, right click on the links and click OPEN IN NEW WINDOW so it doesn't send you away from the blog again...isn't that annoying?) Anyhow, I've sent him a couple of websites to get him started on the whole searching thing. "I click and it takes me there so fast!" He can't believe you don't have to wait an hour for the page to come up! Yes, sadly, we have dial-up at home. You type in the web address you want then you watch So You Think You Can Dance? and at the first commercial your site might be up...probably without pictures, but it's there. Then you click on the link you want and change the TV channel to America's got Talent. At the next commercial you look up and realize your dial-up kicked you off so you have to reconnect...if you even remember why you were going on in the first place. That's another thing with dial-up you always have a reason to go on. You NEVER just surf the net for no reason. That could take days! So, Brian, welcome to the wonderful world of high speed internet. Now get some work done!

I had a bad day...

Yes, I had a bad day!

Let me begin by saying I hate driving places without another driver in the car with me. So, my anxiety level was pretty high when this happened...

Connor had a doctor's appointment at Children's Hospital yesterday at 10:30. The doctor said some very positive things so we're happy with him, but I got lost going there...I had to keep my cool since I didn't want to freak Connor out, but I think he got a little worried when I said we'll be there in a minute and an hour later I was calling the hospital to say we'd be late. We left the house at 7:45 AM. I planned on being there about 45 minutes early so we could eat breakfast...that never happened. I finally got there and things went well, we ate lunch at 2:00...we were starving... and visited Connor's friend who was there for surgery. At the end of the day, we waited 40 minutes for our car in valet and we headed home...apparently in the wrong direction. It took 2 ½ hours to get home, it should have been about 1 1/2 hours. I stopped to get gas and called Brian to let him know what was up and I started balling! I just wanted him to come get me! Then, finally, I was about a mile from my house and I got pulled over for speeding...the cop didn't dare give me a ticket since I was crying so hysterically by now that he probably only understood half of what I said... "lost...boston...children's hospital...can't find the registration...my house is right there...wanna go home..." So he told me to relax and have a nice day. LOL...the drama! It wastrulyy the worst day since the first week of the new year.

Crazy

shaqtacular
Originally uploaded by DeeatHC.

I'm in a blogging class trying stuff out...I learned how to take my pictures from flickr and put them on my blog and write this without even going into blogger! CRAZY! Who knew I'd actually learn something?

I enjoy prank answering!

Last night during dinner the phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and realized it was the same number that we kept ignoring 800-868-something so I decided to play a game with the person on the other end...

ME: Hello?
CALLER: Could I speak with Brain?

ME: I think you have the wrong number.
CALLER: There is no one named Brain there?

No, sorry.
Okay, is this Mrs. blank?

Yes.
Hello Mrs. blank how are you today?

Fine.
Mrs. blank do you have a cable television.

No. As strict Christians we do not believe in cable.
Do you watch television?

Yes.
What do you watch on television?

We watch one hour a day of biblical movies on VHS.
Excuse me?

We watch biblical movies. Movies about God.
Oh, I see. Then Mrs. blank would you be interested in satelite TV?

No.
Do you own televisions?

Yes, we own one.
And you do not have cable or satelite on this television?

No.
Let me tell you about satelite TV.

I am not interested.
I think you will like satelite television.

We, as Christians, believe that satelite is the work of the devil and I do not wish to hear about your satelite.
Excuse me, ma'am?

Satelite television is the work of the devil and I want you and your devil TV to not call here again.
uh...

Thank you, good day. (CLICK)

Pull your pants up!

It was my mother's first night in the rehab center. She finally fell asleep very late after going through physical therapy and taking Vicadin to ease the pain...both mental and physical I'm sure. Suddenly her bed started vibrating. Then she heard a man's voice saying, "Beverly...Beverly wake up." He proceeded to try waking my mother up by shaking the bed. My mother got very nervous. She wasn't nervous because the man was shaking the bed and yelling another woman's name or because the man had his pants around his knees...she was nervous because she didn't want him to climb into bed with her and hurt her knee! She pressed the call button and screamed for help. Six nurses and a maintenance guy came to her rescue and the man realized he must be in the wrong room. He then proceeded to go across the hall to find his wife who was actually at home unaware that it was time to do whatever it was this man wanted to do with his underwear around his knees. His underwear fell around his ankles and he fell in the hall where the staff grabbed him and took him away. My mother slept with the door shut tight every night after that!

My mother is out of rehab!

I've been busy! VERY busy!

My mother had knee replacement surgery on January 31. Seeing her on Morphine has been the highlight of the past few weeks! I pretty much sat there and laughed at her until they took the IV out...it was great! They moved her into a nursing home...sorry, rehab center and she's been there until about ten minutes ago. It's funny because when you don't tell people about the surgery and just say things like "I have to go visit my mother in rehab" people look at you funny. I didn't realize why until one of my friends said "oh, is she going to be okay?" and couldn't look at me in the eyes. I laughed and thought about the tens of people that probably think my mother is some sort of junky! HAHA! Well, she's on her way home right now and she plans to go out with her friends tonight...that's my girl! So many funny things happened while she was in there! BUT I think I'll leave you hanging for a bit so I can go eat lunch...

Christmas Shmistmas

Every year I get all warm and fuzzy inside right around Thanksgiving time. The day after turkey day I'm shopping for Christmas presents all happy and smiling and excited for Santa. Then I get the kids pictures taken and have Christmas cards printed up and I start sending them out...they're so cute!

Then it starts. I realize I don't have enough cards for the 75 people I send cards to and even if I did have enough cards I don't even have everyone's updated addresses...then I lose the book of stamps and buy more only to find my daughter playing with them like they were stickers. Now it's four days before Christmas and I'm rushing around trying to find gifts for everyone and mailing out the last of the cards that I made on the computer because I keep forgetting someone. Then I realize "Santa" got three times more gifts for my daughter than he got for my son so I have to go out and even it out which ends up costing me five times as much as it would have if I had more time. Now I can't find my Christmas card list so I have no idea who got cards and who didn't so I guess Christmas cards are done. I still have to bake for the school party which is....oh shit! It's tomorrow! I still have to get the teachers gifts together...looks like I'm pulling an all-nighter again! What's this? Oh man! I just got three card sent BACK to me because they didn't have stamps on them...where is my head?

Well, if you didn't get a card or a gift or something yet then it's either late or it's not coming...you'll figure it out! Just remember, Christmas is all about family and being together. Who really believes this shit? Isn't it all about Jesus Christ being born and celebrating his birth? Then why the hell am I getting YOU anything? I should be getting a gift for Jesus and, if what the church teaches us is true, Jesus is all forgiving so if I get him nothing he'll forgive me! Wow! I wish I thought of that earlier...that makes everything so much easier!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!